The Twins' 1st Birthday

The day before the twins' first birthday was their 12 month "well check" visit with their doctor. After finding out that James's head is in the 93rd percentile (go James?!), they both got their booster shots. FIVE pokes each. Then we stopped by to visit the first person to ever see them - their birth doctor, Dr. Crites (not to be confused with zombie gynecologist) who was great through the last hard months of my pregnancy. Unfortunately the twins were still pretty cranky from the shots. (Note to self: what was I thinking getting their vaccinations the day before their birthday?)


Julia recognizes her birth doctor.


James making the same face as the last time he saw this doctor.

The next morning James had a slight fever when he woke up. I slept in and when I entered the family room a few hours later, my mom started telling me that James felt really hot. And then before I could even cross the room to him she said, "He's not focusing!" James's eyes stared straight ahead, totally blankly, his mouth was pursed together, sort of making fish lips that opened and closed very slightly. He was totally non-responsive. Thankfully I had looked up fevers in What to Expect: The First Year when James first woke up that morning, and I had read the section on febrile seizures. This was a classic febrile seizure, which don't always involve convulsions (neither did James's), and the book said as long as the seizure didn't last more than 5 minutes it was basically harmless. We took off his clothes and put a cold wet washcloth on him (a cold wet washcloth is actually what NOT to do when someone has a fever because their shivering can increase the temperature). After about 3 minutes, with the seizure continuing, I called 9-1-1. An ambulance and fire truck arrived a few minutes later, and James seemed to snap out of the seizure when the EMTs got to him, which meant the seizure lasted about 6 minutes.

The EMTs wanted to take James to the hospital, so I rode up front in the ambulance. I felt guilty taking pictures but I didn't take any last time (yes, James rode in an ambulance in July) and I knew by this point he was okay. The driver gave him a stuffed spider monkey, which technically was his first birthday gift. I'm guessing they keep a supply of stuffed animals for little ones. However, someone should educate them that they shouldn't be giving ones with choking-hazard bead eyes to babies under three. Or maybe it's their way of drumming up more business?...


New Year's resolution: No more trips to the emergency room for my babies.

By the way, we live three long blocks from the hospital and the ambulance trip came to $1399 before our insurance covered the whole shebang. (The two hour hospital stay came to $6131, and we only chipped in a $50 co-pay.)

James's temperature was 105.3 when we arrived at the hospital. The febrile seizure was due to his fever rising too fast, not the actual high temperature number. Febrile seizures are genetic and his Uncle Michael had one when he was three. James had an x-ray and some blood tests to rule out a viral infection, and with medication his temperature significantly decreased so we were discharged. In the meantime, we overheard the nurses at the nurses' station chatting about how cute James was, and Mark delighted James by throwing him into the air.

That night James's temperature rose to 103.6, but came down again. Most of the doctors thought that James's fever was due to the vaccinations but they changed their minds when Julia and I both came down with fevers five days later. We probably caught whatever it was that Uncle Michael gave to Grandma who infected James who passed it on to Julia and me who gave it to Mark. Thanks, Uncle Michael! (And Michael thought what he had was allergies...)


"Fever, schmever. Throw me in the air again, Daddy!"

The original plan for the twins' birthday was for them to open presents, go to the Palo Alto Junior Museum and Zoo, and destroy some cupcakes. We only had time to have them open some gifts just before dinner. They were much less into ripping open wrapping paper than we expected.


Julia is thoroughly unimpressed by her gift of Busy Balls.


"This box is definitely better than the Busy Balls."



The next day the babies got to eat smash the snowman cupcakes that we had purchased at Whole Foods. Julia didn't really want to eat hers or smash it, and seemed uninterested in the whole thing. James on the other hand, took some time to warm up to it, but took to smashing his like a fish to water. (Or like The Hulk to smashing stuff.)

"Hulk just want opportunity to smash cupcake."

The birthday cupcakes




At first James doesn't seem interested but then he gets the hang of it...


...some might say too much so.


"If you think I'm a slob you should see Julia. Oh you did? Okay, yeah I'm a slob."


But he's a cute slob!


Before the cake smashing began, Mark smartly chose Julia's cupcake as the one he would finish eating.


Meanwhile, I got left with this.

My Christmas Treasure Map from Santa

Baby hiatus!
Every year my dad, er... Santa makes one person the recipient of one of his crazy gifts. This year it was me.


Santa can't be bothered to write fancy letters like "r" and "o."

First he gave me tools I might need in opening the gift.


"You may or may not need a box cutter, saw, mallet, hammer, and Scotch tape."

Then I got to work...

Upon opening the box I saw a bunch of individually wrapped items as well as cups duct-taped together, a water bottle, a Coke can, and an orange. As the "open first" envelope explained, I would find pieces of a treasure map upon opening each of the individually wrapped items. Did I mention the copious amounts of duct tape used? And the gratuitous amounts of random torn yellow graph paper? The paper was meant to confuse me since it was the same type as the treasure map paper.


My dad wanted the (not shown) orange as his snack later.

One of the pieces was inside a water bottle that Mark had to cut open.


The inside of the bottle was still wet.

Early on I peeked inside the Coke can but didn't see a piece of paper. After I'd emptied the box I realized the can had to have something inside...


Thanks, Dad, for not rinsing the inside of the can before putting the piece inside.

My brother and I taped the treasure map together. It was a floorplan of my house. I was to go to each number on the map in order to find a clue. Each clue when put in the order of the numbers, spelled a message.


We never did figure out what happened to the missing piece on the left side. My dad said he had written "Abandon all hope ye who enter here."

Did I mention there were also pieces that when taped together formed a fake treasure map?

One of the numbers on the map led me to the hall closet. After searching the entire closet I looked up behind me and saw the hidden clue.

My dad was also the king of hiding Easter eggs growing up. I'd beg him to hide the plastic eggs again and again because he'd really hide them.

We had decided at the last minute to open gifts on Christmas Eve night so my dad couldn't go with his original plan to have some of the clues hidden in the babies' diapers (which would have been awesome). He had to change some of the clues.


So glad I didn't have to look inside.

This is what I found behind the diaper pail (which I had to find in the dark while James was sleeping):


Santa likes Marie Callender's no-sugar-added apple and razzleberry pies.

And finally, the present from Santa:


I was impressed that Santa actually created a border on the computer! Also, judging by my past e-mails from Santa, I'M not surprised that Santa wrote all in caps.

What it says:
This coupon entitles bearer to a night out with Santa (but not later than 10:30 p.m.). Mrs. Santa will babysit if required. This includes dinner at any place selected by the bearer as long as they serve dead meat for Santa. If the bearer is a good little girl, it may also include a movie or a ballgame to be named later. By the way, it could also include a show or play at the civic center if Santa gets lucky at poker. Bearer must provide transportation and Santa promises to wear a clean shirt and socks. Expiration date: never.

Christmas 2010: Santa Photos, James Eats Shoes (Again), and Presents!

I wasn't going to get Santa photos ($20 for a 2 hour wait at the mall? No thank you), but then I found out about Tiny Tots in Campbell. You set an appointment time so there's no wait, and they send you free high res images. While we waited (okay, there's a 5 minute wait), my dad smiled and chatted with someone else's little ones. Because of his grey beard and love of children, the store actually asked if he'd be one of their Santas! Later when I brought it up again to my dad that he could make some money on the side next year as a Santa, he said, "I didn't think they'd pay me. I'd do it for free!" (Pssssst, Dad, don't say that at Tiny Tots.)

Julia tolerated Santa, and then it was time for both of them to sit on Santa's lap. James was a minute away from a meltdown but he got through it. And then the photographer asked if I wanted some photos with just James and Santa. I knew what was inevitable (meltdown in t-minus 10 seconds at that point) but I also knew that the crying pictures are truly the best Santa pictures. I still feel guilty thinking about James looking right at me while bawling as if to say, "Save me, Mommy!"

Julia tolerates Santa...

Julia gets used to Santa and James does okay...

Uh oh.

My friend Natascha's twins, Emilie and Celeste, got the best Santa photo ever.

My parents and brother arrived two days before Christmas. When they arrived I raced to buy a pair of shoes for James to wear with his Christmas Eve and Christmas Day outfits. And then he didn't end up wearing them! I put his new shoes on him on Christmas Eve and he was much more interested in wriggling out of them and chewing on them. He also left bite marks in Julia's red Mary Janes. James loves him some footwear. One day I wore fuzzy green socks and he kept cuddling with my feet! He also will follow my mother-in-law around to try to get at her slippers.

Mmmm... tasty.

This is nothing new for James. At our trip to the pumpkin patch James tried to eat one of Julia's shoes four times.

James with Papa


Julia's hand got stuck in the curling ribbon and she dragged around this present for a little while.







The adults opened presents Christmas Eve so we would not be interrupted by babies a million times, but Christmas Day was all about the babies' presents.

Mommy Santa left Julia her favorite thing in her stocking. (James likes puffs too, but Julia shakes like a drug addict for them when she sees the container.)

Julia totally looks like Mark's dad here. It should be noted that Mark's dad does not crawl around with his tongue hanging out. Usually.

I Was on Jeopardy, Part IV: More Exciting Green Room Action and Jeopardy Arcana (Yes one day I'll write a post about my actual shows)

Remember Quiz Show and the scandals from the 50s? Jeopardy takes the rules that came out of that very seriously. While you wait at the studio for your episode to tape you can only talk to other contestants or the wranglers, and except for the complimentary photo with Alex, there is definitely no Trebekian interaction except for what you see on screen. In the studio audience, even though Mark, Lila, and Brendan were literally across the aisle from me as I waited to be called for my episode, we were not allowed to speak to each other. In fact, guests were told there would be trouble if they even smiled at us! (You can see the studio and the audience here. The contestants waiting to play sit in the far left quadrant.)

After each game you're rounded up and sent back to the green room. Since you're basically sequestered upon arriving at 8 a.m., you get to know your fellow contestants fairly well. There's even more camaraderie among the people playing the last games of the day just by virtue of being around these people longer. I'm now Facebook friends with the guy I beat and the guy who beat me (and it's been fun chatting with them since our games). I was a bit dismayed though that my fellow contestants were on the young side, even compared to me, since the two Jeopardy champions who have won the most moolah (Brad Rutter and Ken Jennings) were 25 and 30 when they won. I find it interesting that there were so many youngsters at my taping, yet at my tryout there were, in my estimation, only 4 of us out of 21 who were under 40.


My week of contestants. Squint and you can see me on the far left of the second row. They're all young whippersnappers!

That's me!

The wranglers are also really fun and supportive and come over to you during the commercial breaks of your game to keep your spirits up (and also to make sure everyone's buzzers work). In fact, my friend April who was on Jeopardy in 1999 told me that she was so nervous she considered leaving but didn't want to let the wranglers down.

After the Wednesday game is taped, the contestants are rounded up again and shuffled over to the Sony Cafeteria. I spotted the two ladies from the Clue Crew there and went up to one of them and said, "You're with the Clue Crew!" (I'm so lame.) I overspent the $10 Jeopardy lunch budget by $2 (first I went up to the counter and realized I had only spent $6 so I went back to get soup), and the Jeopardy lawyer had to cover me. Oops.

Some other interesting tidbits you might not know about Jeopardy:

I noticed after the final game for the week that the rack of clothes in the green room still was full. Apparently, people leave their extra changes of clothes there all the time and don't ask to have them returned. I was astounded because I would think you'd wear your best clothes (suits for the gents, especially) to Jeopardy and that you'd make some effort to get them back.

The after game chat with Alex is choreographed in terms of where each person stands on the stage. The champion is always farthest from Alex.

After each episode is taped there's a random draw (the contestants names are written on notecards and shuffled) to determine the players for the next show, taped thirty minutes later. There are always two locals in the contestant pool for the week. One plays that day and the other is assured a spot in the Monday - Wednesday games of the next day of taping. Ari, who beat me on Friday's show, was one of the two locals. (Why couldn't I have gotten the laid back musician guy? He mysteriously didn't play the following week so I don't know if he was any good but he didn't seem to have the killer Jeopardy instinct.)

(Picture found online of some random dude.) I poked around to see what exactly was behind the white diamond wall "fence" on the side. Answer: lights.

The commercial breaks are just as long in the studio. During the first break Alex has pictures taken with the two new competitors. During the other breaks Alex takes questions from the audience. Our friend Brendan raised his hand and Alex addressed him as "the curly-haired fellow," a description that excited Brendan. Most of the questions were pretty dumb. My favorite was from a high school age girl:

Girl: Are you and Pat Sajak best friends?
Alex: We're friends. I wouldn't say best friends.
Girl: Do you ever have dinner together?
Alex: Actually, we did have dinner the other night...
Girl (gleeful): At his house?
Alex: Uh, no... At a fundraiser.

Not best friends, okay?
I got this picture from a website where people voted on who would win in a brawl. Trebek had 76% of the votes.

During my games I missed the part where Alex took questions from the audience, but apparently announcer Johnny Gilbert talked about the episode where Ken Jennings lost. "A lady beat him!"

In the morning you get to play a practice game to get a feel for the buzzer, and everyone (with two exceptions but I didn't get to play them - d'oh!) was pretty darn good. I had no idea who the dominant players would be, and it's pretty intimidating because you realize that it's pretty much a toss-up as to who would be the eventual winners. But besides that, the practice game was a whole lot of fun! When it ended I just wanted to keep playing!


Outside an entrance to the set


I was afraid to send this photo out before the episode aired for fear that you Oliver Stone types would Zapruder the photo and realize I was wearing my Friday taping outfit instead of Thursday's. (Yeah, that's right. I'm making Zapruder into a verb.)

I Was on Jeopardy, Part III: The Road Trip and Inside the Green Room

R o a d T r i p !

My Jeopardy episode taped on a Tuesday so Mark and I drove down to L.A. late Monday morning and drove back as soon as taping finished on Tuesday. (It should be noted that Jeopardy does not pay for your transportation or accommodations unless you are the returning champion at week's end and have to return to L.A. for another taping.) It was both sad and liberating saying goodbye to the babies, since of course I hadn't spent a day without them since they were born. Our friends Lila and Brendan came with us, and it was our first road trip together since the 1998 Summer of Chev when we drove to Tahoe and ate at 10 Chevys in 4 days.


The 1998 Summer of Chev


The 2010 Jeopardy victory tour

A Jeopardy road trip was Lila's idea - she said they could quiz me during the drive. What actually ended up happening was I studied the trivia spreadsheets I had created with the idea that I'd give them to my friends to quiz me, but then I got really sleepy and tried to nap the last half of the trip. The highlight of the road trip was stopping at Casa de Fruita for the first time (there's a Casa de Choo Choo that goes through a Casa de Haunted Tunnel) and getting gas in Lost Hills. I'm pretty sure Lost Hills is the most isolated of the Interstate 5 towns, since when you leave it in either direction there are signs telling you how far away the nearest gas station is. Lost Hills is awesome because of the two big "travel centers," a.k.a. trucker stores, which feature both trucker showers and - wait for it - an ENTIRE AISLE OF BEEF JERKY.

Oh no. The Casa de Corrugated Iron Semi-Circle is Casa de Haunted.

I was most disturbed by the existence of jerky chew.


Sasquatch Jerky!

The spokesperson of the "travel centers" is John Ratzenberger which tells me that B.J. from B.J. and the Bear must have been busy. B.J. and the Bear combined two great trends of the late 70s: trucking and monkeys. Since the show aired in 1980 I'll just assume Bear was also unavailable due to having been stuffed. (Please tell me the hat is still on him.)


G r e e n R o o m !

I always imagined the night before I'd appear on Jeopardy I'd be a nervous wreck and get no sleep, but I was so sleepy I think I went to bed at 9 p.m. and slept like a baby. That was good since I had to be at the Sony studios at 8 a.m. The first episode began taping at 11:30.

The Jeopardy green room is a pretty basic little room, actually painted green, with pictures from Celebrity Jeopardy adorning the walls. I immediately realized that David Duchovny, Neil Patrick Harris, and Wolf Blitzer must have used the same two toilets I did! I will never wash this wiping hand again!

Wolf. Our butts have two degrees of separation. (One being a toilet.)

Inside the Jeopardy green room. (Not my group. This is College Jeopardy.) One of the bathrooms with an Ed Asner backside-touched toilet is behind that closed door.

Since I was still feeding my little ones breastmilk, I pumped in the green room (under the watchful, but not too watchful, eye of a wrangler) during the Tuesday game. It's too bad I missed it because that game turned out to be the funniest one of the week.

"McLovin" from the Tuesday episode was declared The Most Entertaining Jeopardy Contestant Ever (here's video proof) by gawker.tv.

So what goes on during those three and a half hours?
1) Go to make-up (but you do your own hair)
2) Review your anecdotes with the Jeopardy wranglers
3) Go around the room and show the wranglers your excited face if you win (really)
4) Learn obscure Jeopardy rules (and some Celebrity Jeopardy anecdotes) from wrangler Maggie

Some interesting ones:

If you add an article to the title of something that doesn't have an article you normally won't be penalized. However, if you add an article to something like the movie Unforgiven, you would not be given credit since there is already a different movie called The Unforgiven.

If you get a question right and Alex asks someone else to choose a category, do not stop the game.

Regis Philbin does not wash his hands after pooping. (Okay, that one I made up.)

5) Creating and rehearsing a "Hometown Howdy"

A Hometown Howdy is a ten second shout-out that your local affiliate might air to encourage people to watch; you say your name, where you're from and to watch you on Jeopardy. And you have to have something else specific to your city in there, too. Did I mention they only told us we needed to come up with one that morning? I spent a couple hours not having a clue what I was going to do. But then I thought up one, possibly inspired by the move to our first house two days later:


Also, here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eclCkTixdrQ

In my second "Hometown Howdy," recorded just before the second game, I didn't have anything planned so I just told viewers to see if I "keep the streak alive." Yes, my streak of ONE. I never did see my Hometown Howdies air (thanks a lot, local affiliate!), but at least the first one was available on the Jeopardy website.

Ironically, in Ken Jennings' first Hometown Howdy he told his fellow Provo-dians to watch his 15 minutes of fame.