Monday, September 13, 2010

What I Didn't Realize About Babies Before Birthin' Em: Part II

6) Their idea of a comfortable sleep position is different than your idea of a comfortable sleep position

I often find my babies sleeping with their heads tilted way back (the pictures don't do this justice) and both arms up beside them.

Another punching match in the crib... or is it? Actually they're both just sleeping. (2 1/2 months)

Julia strikes a pose - watch for her in America's Next Top Model Cycle 33 (1 1/2 weeks)

James with his head tilted back and pretzel legs (6 months)

7) Handling spit, ear wax, and boogers is no big deal when it's your baby

I think if it was another person's baby's spit, ear wax, and boogers I'd find them totally disgusting, but since they're my own babies I have no problem being hit with a saliva covered hand, clearing out a little ear wax with my pinky, or trying to pry out some boogers from an uncooperative baby. I joke that they should make baby booger tweezers. When I am able to pull out a booger I usually exclaim, "I got your booger! I got your booger!" And then I realize the jokes on me because I'm holding someone's booger...

I'm not into eating the babies' ear wax or boogers but if I were, I might also have a hankering for these ear wax and booger Jelly Belly flavors.

Oh my. Baby booger tweezers exist.

My new gym shirt?

Mmmm... boogery...

8) It's impossible to sleep in the same room as a baby

The first couple months in the early morning I would sometimes try to sleep on the sofa in the living room where the babies also slept. The problem is they make too many noises! And you don't know what those noises mean. You tell yourself you'll ignore it and go back to sleep, but then you start fixating on it and worrying that a cough you heard might mean they're choking, and before you know it you're up every five minutes checking to make sure they're okay.

9) Another thing you end up doing a lot after babies are first born is checking to make sure they're still alive.

Babies seem so vulnerable that it seems totally possible that they could die and you'd never know it. You end up watching them closely to see if they're still breathing. Mark taught me the easiest way to check their vitals - putting a hand on their chest to feel for breathing. I still do it, though not as much now.

10) You will have dreams where a baby is lying in bed next to you

Babies take over your life (if you haven't heard) and since you're constantly holding one you will eventually dream that there's one next to you in bed. Then you'll wake up and wonder if the dream was real or not, and you end up searching for a baby in your bed just in case. This happened to me repeatedly - Mark would see me searching for babies in the bed in the middle of the night and make fun of me. I knew there probably wasn't a baby there but I'd get up and double check the bassinets anyway to make sure there wasn't a baby on the loose. I wasn't the only one - I know my mom and Mark both woke up at times and thought there was a baby next to them.

Mark asleep in bed with his two babies (Julia and his Nexus One phone). (3 months)


  1. Wow. Your descriptions of having babies makes it sound more awful than I imagined. And I imagined really awful.

  2. I need to get me some baby booger tweezers. Oh, the satisfaction!