Day 1: We Arrive in East London - July 2017

(Check out London & Paris: Before We Go.)

We take a nonstop red eye to London and everyone sleeps horribly. I find Julia’s Bunny on the lap of the guy in front of us, and ask how he came to have it. He says that Julia shoved it into his hands during the night and told him, “Daddy, you take it. I don’t want to hold it any more.” He adds that it’s the sweetest way he’s ever been woken up.

Doggy is a stowaway.

A little airport reading.

To Julia this dude looks like Daddy in the middle of the night. Here he poses with Julia's Bunny.

We stay in an Air Bnb in East London, between hip Shoreditch/Brick Lane and Whitechapel. It’s pretty sketch even for being Jack the Ripper’s old neighborhood, and I point out to the kids’ delight the street near our flat with the first murder. We endure many a yelled argument outside our window, sometimes starring a character the locals call “Crackhead.” The fact that our apartment is on the fourth floor, no lift, and it’s sweltering with no A/C only adds to the ambiance. (Truth be told though I love Brick Lane. It’s just our particular couple of blocks.)

Barbershop name for the win.

This is what it looks like from our window. Yep, pretty exciting.

We try mushy peas for the first time and I’m fine with passing on that in the future. We also eat sticky toffee pudding and I’m in love. We get it two more times on the trip.

Despite it being too small, Julia REALLY wanted to wear this shirt to London, and pose next to a double decker bus.

London & Paris: Before We Go...
Day 2: Tower of London and Science Tea

James and Julia 24-28 Months, Part VIII: James, My Mechanical, Anxious, Papa-Fixated, Frustrated, Non-Compliant, Creative, Musical Boy

Here is Part I: Singing "Genko Ball" and Wearing Santa Diapers

Here is Part II: Rediscovering the Mall, Gymnastics Party, and Pizza at Papa and Gaga’s Apartment

Here is Part III: Whole Foods Mini Shopping Carts, a Tunnel, and a Giant Box

Here is Part IV: Sliding Down the Wood Chip Pile, Julia Fall Butt, and One-Teen

Here is Part V: High Chair Bookworms, Okapi, and Eating Cold Things

Here is Part VI: The Crib Tent, Booger ‘Stache, and “Come on, James!”

Here is Part VII: James’s First Non-Sister Kiss, Almanzo Stinks, and Dog Fears and Tantrums Begin

James

James is my handsome boy who has the biggest giggly smile when happy. He has a cowlick that causes him to have some wicked bedhead every day that is impervious to a comb and even styling wax. He often breathes noisily and sounds congested at night and I hear his tongue clicking against his palate (just like me, poor kid), and he seems to not have as much control over his face as he might like. Often when he’s focusing on a task his tongue goes on a journey just outside his mouth.

While James is serious and tends to be more of an observer when we’re out of the house, at home he’s very giggly and loves physical play, especially walking on Daddy and wrestling with Papa.

Mechanical

James can get very focused and is very mechanical. One day while I prepare lunch, I can hear the twins playing with toys and when I come in I discover that James has emptied a box of hand-me-down toys from our friend April. The big toys are already upright and being played with. He’s like a dad assembling toys on Christmas morning. James loves to open and close things. He separates the high chairs and says “open” and then pulls them together and says “close.” One day he opens and closes his legs and announces “open” and “close.” He constantly wants me to lift him up to see everything on the kitchen and bathroom counters.

Anxious

James is fretful and gets anxious about a lot of things. Cutting his fingernails is always traumatizing and he wants me to cuddle him afterwards. Haircuts are arguably worse. He screams and climbs me and tries to turn around to avoid the scissors and buzzer. I start following haircuts with a reward trip to the park. One day James pees on me while sitting on my lap during his haircut. I wonder if that was because he was just that scared, which breaks my heart. Later that day I check on him while he’s napping, and while still asleep he says something when I come in that sounds like, “No haircut!” It sounds like his traumatic experience is spurring nightmares. After his nap James doesn’t want to go on a walk with Papa and Julia and after they leave he says, “Julia haircut,” as though he didn’t want to go because he thought she was getting one. (At some point after this, it occurs to me to start instructing the stylist to not use the buzzer.)

Going to see the doctor is a big ordeal. In December I take James to see the doctor about his mouth rash and he cries as soon as we enter the parking lot. A few months later when I tell him we’re going to a doctor he bawls as we leave the house. James is quite sad that day while sitting in the waiting room, and while reading a book about animals he unprompted raises his air in the air and makes a trumpeting elephant sound with a big lower lip and heavy breathing from crying. The dermatologist is male (which sometimes makes James more anxious) but is a calming presence and James is okay once the appointment starts. After the appointment I take him to Grant Park where James chases birds (“bird!”) and when he gets close they fly away (“fly!”). He also jumps in puddles for the first time.

James hates the new thermometer that takes temperatures at his temple. Although it’s non-invasive and takes only seconds to get a reading, he cries at the sight of it. Meanwhile, Julia asks for us to take her temperature.

James is scared of new things and some are pretty benign and unexpected. When I show them a ladybug and a potato bug on the sidewalk, James is scared of both. He also is fearful of a feather on the end of a pen at a restaurant.

While in San Francisco we discover that James is afraid of parking garages and elevators (perhaps he is claustrophobic?), and he also is very fretful in the public restroom. Other fears not yet mentioned include loud sounds (vacuums, hair dryers, mixers), baths, the green light behind the TV, shuttle buses, chickens, and carousels. To a much lesser degree he also dislikes men (other than Daddy and Papa) and getting his face cleaned.

Attachment Issues

In February James gets upset when I go to leave, and it’s the first time this has happened with either kid. I think it’s because I’d been gone a lot lately since a grandparent was in town. I tell him I’m going to get groceries and that seems to make things better.

James loves his Papa and starts to have a lot of attachment issues and sadness with Papa leaving since Papa plays with them so much for the week he’s here and then goes home for several weeks. One day he cries when Papa leaves to get lunch. James tells me Papa and Gaga are on his phone. I ask what they say and he responds, “Holy moley!” and “Up up up” - two phases he learned from Papa. After Papa teaches him the phrase “See you later, alligator,” James says it to Doggy, but James says it “See you later, alligator, Doggy.”

James loves pretending to talk on the phone.

James is a little fixated on Papa but he gets really obsessed with items that are reminiscent of Papa, particularly his red hat, baseball shirt, and football. Papa plays football with James in the front yard, and as a result James wants to carry his football everywhere. In addition James becomes obsessed with two bags of dried beans (yes, dried beans). He carries his comfort objects - Doggy, red hat, baseball shirt, and bag of beans from room to room. Julia used to be my hoarder but grew out of it. Now James has to carry (or have us carry) his objects and often even more stuff - like a whole grocery bag full of random objects - and cries if he can’t carry it all. Papa often shows the kids the moon outside, and one day when I put James in his carseat he gets upset when he’s positioned in such a way he can’t see it. (“MOON!”) 

James holds his two doggies and wears his doggy pajamas while he gets a new diaper.

James plays football with Papa.

While Julia was the one most into their stuffed animals before age two, now James is. He always uses Doggy as a pillow, and plays with him all the time. 

James is making Puppy Dog stew.

Frustrated

In addition to being often being very fretful, James often gets very frustrated. This happens when something doesn’t follow the laws of James physics, like when toys won’t fit in the container he’s jamming them into. He gets very negative easily (my mom says like Uncle Michael) when this happens or when Julia takes things he wants or when she ruins one of his projects.

In December (as soon as James enters the “terrible twos”, I notice that he keeps getting upset over things and we often can’t understand what he wants. Some of the things he gets mad at include his baby corn breaking in half (I try to help him put it back together with no luck), and wanting to wear a blue jacket (he saw mine)... but he doesn’t have one. One day he even gets mad at the pants he’s wearing.

While Julia will say a word over and over until you acknowledge it and repeat it back, James does the same but in increasing volume and fretfulness until you respond (“shirt shirt shirt shirt SHIRT! Shirt! Shirt! SHIRT!!!”) I also discover James is bothered when it’s wet outside. He says, “Wet! Wet!” in a distressed tone.

Non-compliant

James hits a stage where he doesn’t want to stop playing at any cost. Unfortunately this entails a struggle every diaper change, nap, and often, meal. It’s particularly hard when he wants to keep playing and DOES NOT want me picking him up and I have to outwit him so he doesn’t get put down in his crib crying. One day he thrashes while I try to rock and sing to him and finally I just have to put him down in his crib, and he stands and screams. He’s like Donkey Kong and if he could he’d throw a barrel at me about now.

James looks just like Donkey Kong when Donkey Kong stomps and bares his teeth.

Creative

James often comes up with an interesting idea for a project and then Julia wants in, which can upset him. One day he has an idea to bathe Doggy and he find objects in his room to be Doggy’s hippo towel (the name for James’s post-bath towel) and comb. He also stacks plates or bowls and announces that the whole stack is a food - one day it’s ice cream, another it’s mac and cheese. Occasionally he puts books or toys on his feet while he gets a new diaper on the changing table and then kicks them off onto the floor, saying, “Into the water!”

Musical

James loves to sing along to everything (kind of like me), enjoys singing to himself, and adores watching videos and hearing music. Sometimes he’ll sing along to songs he’ll play over and over on his toy laptop. While Julia kind of recites songs and talks through The Alphabet Song thusly: “Now ABC. Next time won’t sing with me!” James can mostly stay on key and seems to keep rhythm fairly well while singing and dancing. He also likes to hit things together and say “music” or “Jingle Bells” like he’s playing a song.

James and Julia 24-28 Months, Part V: High Chair Bookworms, Okapi, and Eating Cold Things

Here is Part I: Singing "Genko Ball" and Wearing Santa Diapers

Here is Part II: Rediscovering the Mall, Gymnastics Party, and Pizza at Papa and Gaga’s Apartment

Here is Part III: Whole Foods Mini Shopping Carts, a Tunnel, and a Giant Box

Here is Part IV: Sliding Down the Wood Chip Pile, Julia Fall Butt, and One-Teen

Books

When one finishes a meal before the other I clean them up and keep them in their high chair with books. (See video.) After the twins eat their snacks and meals in their high chairs they (but especially James) prefer to stay there and read for another 20 minutes. (Me: “Okay, I guess I’ll look at my laptop…”) They they chuck the books over the sides and request more books. They’re my little bookworms. James also cutely reads books aloud to himself, which is to say he names objects he sees and recites what he can remember from me reading to him.

My bookworm babies want to stay in their high chairs with books after their snack instead of coming down to play.

 I read a book with puppies wagging their tails so I ask the twins what it means when dogs wag their tails and James exclaims, “music!” (This is amusing because Puppy Dog makes music if you pull its tail.) While reading Silly Faces - See Me on the Farm! where a child can put their head in the hold of the middle of the book to look like different animals, James is so excited when I mention that he can put Puppy Dog’s face in the hole that he squirms so I’ll let him down from my lap and he gets Puppy Dog to make him a cow, a cat, and of course a dog.

James thinks Puppy Dog as a cow in the book is pretty funny.

Mark reads the Africa page of Julia’s Find and Seek book. He points to the answer key and asks her to find the giraffe, the lion, and the zebra. Then he points at an animal he doesn’t recognize and, taking a guess, asks her to find the goat. Julia says, “No. Okapi.” Another day Papa reads to Julia and tells her, “I don’t know the name of that dinosaur,” and she exclaims, “Ceratops!” I like that they’re starting to school grown-ups.

James reads Hooray for Fish and on the page with lots of fish he happily cries out, “Holy Mackerel!” I ask him who taught him that and to no one’s surprise he says Papa.

The twins, but especially Julia, still love to point to the other books pictured on the back of Sandra Boynton books, and they inform me which we own and which are at Josh and Sam’s house. (I don’t have a clue which ones Josh and Sam have, but James and Julia DEFINITELY know even though they haven’t been there in months.)

I read Owl Babies for the first time and both listen intently, especially James who looks like he’s frowning as though worried about the owl mama being gone. (I emphasize that the owl mama comes back and put that book away for awhile.) I’ve been asking them questions about faces in books and who’s happy and who’s sad. One day I show them a new book and without prompting Julia says the boy is sad. I ask why and James says, “hat off” (which is correct - his hat flew off). Some people are proud of their kids knowing their colors or numbers, but I am so proud of my empathetic 2-year-olds!

I read a “find the picture” book to the twins that has a picture bank of items to find in a larger picture. James is quicker at finding photos the first time through but subsequent times Julia is faster. She’s a good memorizer. And I notice when I read her Gossie and Gertie that she knows the text that accompanies some of the pages. On one with a picture of both goslings she says “best friends.”

James and Julia are so interesting translating things to their world since they don’t have the vocabulary yet. On a menu where the chicken has a grid of square-shaped grill marks they declare that it’s a waffle. I ask Julia what a boy is dribbling in one book and instead of basketball she responds with something else round and orange: “pumpkin.”

Music

If a song on a CD ends, the twins chant “More! More!” James likes to sing his special song with Papa, You Are My Sunshine. Papa sings Row Your Boat to the twins in the car and stops to let them fill in the words. James gets them right but Julia is sometimes wrong: “Row row row your… stream!” They love riding Papa and Gaga’s knees while their grandparents hum the theme to Bonanza or while riding their horsey and zebra. They also love singing along with Papa and Gaga to Take Me Out to the Ballgame (a song they sang to Mommy as a baby) and particularly like shouting out the “1, 2, 3!” part at the end.

In December Mark plays music for James and Julia on his iPad and James is transfixed, particularly with the song Roll Out. When the song ends James says “Roll Out” and Mark has to play it again and again. Referencing one of the lines from the song, Mark asks James “Who’s his weed man?” and James says, “weed man” which is surreal coming from a 2-year-old. In April Mark beatboxes for the twins and when he finishes they plead, “more beatbox” and Julia spontaneously waves her hands in the air.

Around the beginning of February, James and Julia can sing all of the alphabet song by themselves. James will bang utensils or other toys together and declare, “music!” (See video.) Julia’s funny singing Down by the Bay and loves blurting out “kissing a goose.”

Toys

James and Julia play with their new kitchen (a birthday present), and later in the oven I find a pot, food, a plate, and Elmo. They also like their new Little People Zoo which has a tiny slide and swing for the animal figurines. I have to keep explaining to them though that James and Julia can’t go on the slide and swing, too, since they keep trying to sit on them. One day while taking a picture of Julia she asks me to take a picture of her Elmo and Big Bird figurines. She even poses them for me on top of her Little People Zoo.

Julia asked me to take a photo of her Sesame Street figurines and directs James to implement her vision for placing them on the Zoo.

After playing a matching card game, Julia becomes obsessed with finding matches in other things, including two yellow bristle blocks, 2 letter “g”s in a book, and most randomly two identical small border pictures on different pages in our Entertainment Book.

James perches a car upside on top of a new racetrack toy and announces, “Change car’s diaper.” And this is what happens when James plays with cars for the first time.

Comprehension

In mid-December Julia informs us she’s a pink girl so Mark asks, “What kind of girl is Mommy?” and she answers “Kathy." That’s when we discover that Julia knows Mark’s  and my first names when we ask questions like “Who’s Daddy?” despite no one ever teaching her. She also says “Mom” for Gaga’s name and either “Dad” or “Charlie” for Papa.

The twins see a big cloud next to two smaller clouds and say “Mommy cloud” and then identify the other clouds as “Julia cloud” and “James cloud.” James says “Maya” on the way home from a playdate and I inform them that they know two Maya’s (Kashi’s and Arnita’s daughters) and then Julia says “two Maya” all night.

James puts two bristle blocks together - a square and a triangle - and declares “house.” I’m impressed because it’s so stylized, how would he recognize it as a house? Papa tells James to put the letters (as in mail) in the new toy mailbox. James puts the letter (as in alphabet) puzzle pieces inside instead. James walks with the long and narrow waterwheel, hitting it against the ground, and calls it his cane (just like his Papa uses!).

One day when we return from dinner, James and I stand on the front porch and I inform him that we need Daddy to unlock the front door. He says “up up up” like he has an idea, and tries to use the toy keys he happens to be holding to open the door! (Also, afterwards for months James won’t go in the house until he has a chance to use his toy keys in the lock.)

James and Julia love to pick up my blue ice packs. James, eyes full of wonder, declares, “Ice. Cold!” Julia touches my bare leg and I ask her if it’s smooth. She responds, “bumpy.” James sees our empty Christmas tree stand and says “Christmas tree pot!” (We’re unclear how he figured out its use.) When Julia sees plain white plates with a blue dotted line down the middle in a catalog, she states, “Frosty the Snowman.”

Eating

Meals take 45 minutes (an informal survey seems to indicate other kids take 20 minutes at most). Partly as a result I feel like I have no time with them. Other parents can go places (like the Children’s Discovery Museum which I considered for their second birthday) but I can’t. I would have to leave late because of their long breakfast and return early because of their long lunch, and that adds up. James is particularly slow. He will take a bite and then get distracted and play with his utensils. Then I will try to take his tray away, and he’ll get mad, and take another bite. And repeat. One day breakfast lasts 1 ½ hours. James eats one veggie sausage patty and Julia eats four (a box contains six) before I cut her off. Also, together they eat four packets of instant oatmeal and almost a whole can of baby corn. I begin to wonder if they’re having growth spurts!

They begin climbing into their high chairs themselves. However, we have to keep an eye on them while they do it especially after James climbs up and stands on the seat. The twins also love climbing up and sitting on the dining room chairs.

Climbing into their high chairs

One day James and Julia eat yogurt and James has yogurt on his face per usual. Mark asks Julia, “Who’s messy?” and she points to James and announces, “messy baby.” Another day they try carrot sticks in hummus. James licks off the hummus and when I suggest eating the carrots, too, he eats the non-hummused end.

You can always tell what today's meal is by looking at James's face.

James inhales a grilled cheese sandwich one day in January and says, “Bye bye grilled cheese.” I ask where it went and he says “my mouth.” Later when he eats beans I ask where they went, thinking he’ll say his mouth, but instead he responds “Tupperware,” which is where I put them after they are done eating.

In April James says “eat Julia” and Julia says “no eat Julia.” James then says “eat Julia” again and she responds, “yucky.”

Restaurants

In December Julia stands on a high chair at Cook’s Seafood and announces “bye bye” to everyone. She also walks around the restaurant to stop and say “hi” and “bye” to the other tables. (It should be noted that Mark encourages her to do these sort of meet and greets at restaurants.) On New Year’s Eve at Cook’s James eats without a high chair (or booster) for the first time ever and sits in the booth next to me. Two-thirds into the meal he discovers he can hop down to the floor so he says “bye bye” and slides down repeatedly, driving me nuts. Also on this day Julia decides to enter the restaurant by holding my legs from behind as I walk, walking under them. She decides (even two years later) that this is always the correct way to enter Cook’s.

In January we wonder if the Golden Age of Taking Babies to Restaurants (a.k.a. 21-24 months) is ending. Suddenly they seem to be generally louder and challenge us more often, but really they continue to be model children in restaurants. At Olarn Thai we have to take one of them outside for the first time ever (Julia decided she wanted James’s cup). Still, we’re doing pretty good if it’s only the first time taking one outside. By March when Julia’s loud in a restaurant and we threaten to take her for a walk they both want to go. The taking-them-outside-threat doesn’t seem to be the best solution.

One day at Su Hong James pushes me slightly from his chair and I pretend that he’s moved me way back and he giggles and we do it again and again, and Julia does the same with Mark. On another visit, the table next to us likes the twins and Julia greets them the only way she knows how: by telling them anything that comes to mind. “Cupcake bib! Jacket! Fortune!”

James cracks us up when he eats ice cream himself at The Old Spaghetti Factory. When he takes a big bite that’s too cold for him, his arms go straight out, his eyes get really big, and he smiles and does a little shiver.

Halloween 2012, Part IV: Trick-or-Treating

(Here are Part I, Part II, and Part III.)

And finally, Halloween itself! Papa and Gaga join us trick-or-treating. Despite being dressed as dogs, James and Julia ironically are terrified of dogs that come to the doors with their owners. At each door we ask Julia to scare the door answerer and she bellows "Booooooo!" at them, and it’s a hoot to see their reactions. Just in time for Halloween James develops a deep evil laugh that is hilarious. After each candy grab, Julia says, “More houses!” and is intent on trick-or-treating til she drops. Meanwhile James wants to slow down and look at every house’s Halloween decorations.

Julia's best "Booooo!" to our neighbor Paul.

 

Our neighborhood is a trick-or-treating wasteland, and there’s at least one house where we’re the only visitors so we get lots of attention. We have such a good time that we stay out trick-or-treating for an hour and a half, and find ourselves at our last house - Debbie’s - at 9 p.m. That's when it suddenly starts to pour on our wet and tired puppy dogs. Thankfully she offers us a ride home!

"So many treats, so little time."

After it starts raining at Debbie's house, James and Julia wait for her to drive us home.

They, especially James, love being doggies. Currently (four months later), his favorite thing to do is pretend to be a doggy, complete with requests like “can I lick you?” and “give me a tummy rub.”

Julia with Bunny and James with Doggy

James the Puppy Dog loves Puppy Dog.

Halloween 2012, Part II: The Contenders as Decided by Julia and James

So then (after Part I where they inform me that they want to be pumpkins), I spend my evening looking up pumpkin costumes and trying to find cute ones that are also masculine enough for a boy.


Most pumpkin costumes look like this.


Here’s the cutest (and most masculine) one I could find. (It was also $100.)

I show them my picks the next day, and Julia tells me, “I want to be a bunny.”

So then I spend hours online finding bunny costumes so she can look like her beloved stuffed Pink Bunny.


The bunny costume I picked out

 
Not the bunny costume I picked out

And the next day they announce they want to be doggies. Must refrain from throttling...


The Search for Doggy Costumes

About now I want to kill them, but they seem resolute in their desire to be doggies, so I spend many many hours finding and ordering dog costumes online as well as some cute felt doggy ear headbands on Etsy. Then I discover their preschool Halloween party is a full week before Halloween (even though they’re at school on October 30th!), and realize those costumes aren’t coming in time. In fact now no costume can make it in time. 


The costume I ordered but had to return

I end up having to shuttle the twins around with me one morning to four stores, and finally find two costumes at Target. Thankfully James and Julia are troopers. When we get home James announces, “Sometimes we go to four costume stores” as though this happens all the time.


Target’s doggy costume


Putting Together the Doggy Outfits

I’m relieved that the costume buying is done. And then the next day when it’s time for James and Julia to try them on they want nothing to do with the dog costumes. The costumes they chose! They won’t even wear them when offered a bribe of cookies. They think the felt dog ear headbands they tried on a few days earlier are enough to make them doggies. Which at this point... whatever. One day I will be happy to show them pictures where they are wearing t-shirts and jeans and costumes that just consist of a headband with ears. I purchased one set of ears in tan to match James’s blond hair and one set in brown to match Julia’s, but of course Julia insists on wearing the other pair.


These are the doggy ears. I loved the little brown nose so I bought face paint to replicate the photo but James and Julia wouldn’t have anything to do with that.


I bought the ears in tan for blondie James.

After asking for suggestions on Facebook, my longtime friend Wendy gives me the idea to cut spots out of duct tape to put on their clothes. Mark and I spend an evening cutting out spots and affixing them to brown shirts and pants the twins already own. The next morning both refuse pants since they’re in love with jeans, and James refuses the brown shirt as well as any spots anywhere. I happen to have a brown shirt with a doggy on it and he’s happy with that. So even though they got to wear their regular clothes instead of costumes, they still fight me over what they’re wearing. James even argues over which blue jeans are bluer. That’s what I’m dealing with here. And over the next four wearings, the costumes change even more - one time James accepts brown pants instead of jeans and another time Julia refuses to wear her brown shirt (she really doesn’t like her shirt with spots either) and insists on donning a blue sweater with a doggy.


I stay up late putting doggy spots on the twins’ clothes.

I’ve spent at least 16 hours on this whole enterprise and their costumes look like I threw them together in 5 minutes.

Next time: Part III: Preschool Parties, Googleween, and Playgroup Party