Monday, June 13, 2011

Twin Glossary Part II

Falling Asleep at the Meal - Babies falling asleep at a feeding. (Here's a video of James falling asleep while drinking from a bottle.)

High chair siestas. (Julia - 14 months; James - 16 months)

Photos of babies asleep in places other than their cribs are always amusing-- mine are no match for the borderline narcoleptic babies seen below.

Stealth Poo - Not realizing it’s a poopy diaper until you open the diaper.

The Stockpile - The stacks and stacks of organized baby food jars.

These two shelves are NOWHERE near The Stockpile's glory days. Often there were 12 jars of each type of food on display (each row contained one type of food and sometimes they were piled three jars high) and extra boxes were stored on a higher shelf. (This picture was taken in the last months of The Stockpile when the babies were 15 months and we were phasing out jarred food.)

James Pendulum - Technique used for burping that Mark learned by watching burping videos on You Tube. Let me repeat that. Mark watched burping videos on You Tube. One technique involved sort of swinging the baby out like a pendulum. I created a song while I burped James where I would chant, “James pendulum” three times and then say “Bong!” The version for Julia was the same but higher pitched. I sometimes replaced “pendulum” with “Benjamin” or "Elizabeth" (their middle names) and the “Bong!” sound with “Pilloff.”

The Burp Whisperer - Mark called himself this because the babies supposedly burped more quickly when he burped them. We'd burp the babies two or three times during a bottle feeding, often taking as much as 10 minutes for a single burp. So a burp within two minutes was highly coveted.

While Mark burps Julia, she tells him a secret. It's probably about pooping. (1 month)

James smiles at The Burp Whisperer after his bottle. (4 months)

D1/D2 - Code used in the baby notebook for diaper changes. D1 = pee, D2 = poop. Really bad diapers sometimes got cited for a D4. Some of the more interesting notations include:

Peed on own face
Now I know why Grandma left this for me.
D2... on Doggy
D4 (Not at a guest's house, James!)
D4 - Like carrot colored glue
Y-shaped turd molded exactly to his butt
1-inch long poop

Squisher gigantus
2 people, 4 piddlepads, 1 new outfit & a bath
On Mommy and chair
D2 Noisy!
Super soaker
D2 Explosion. I don't think she can ever wear that again.
D2 The apoocalypse

You get a D2! You get a D2! Everybody gets a D2!!!

Onesie Tent - Coined by high school friend Beth from the “pants tent” episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Zip-up body suits create a weird chest lump. My mom calls it their “Alien” because of the Ridley Scott movie.

James's onesie tent makes it look like his head has migrated. (2 months)

It's a James and Papa sing-a-long. (1 month)

“I know. Farting is scary.” - Often the babies would cry before or after farting, so I would tell them this.

Gay Octopus - This was coined by Mark for “Octoplush” who has a tiny fey (not to be confused with Tina Fey) sailor hat. Mark also has a whole Gay Octopus routine.

Gay Octopus photo-bomb. (7 months)

Night Mode - Turning lights down to simulate night. This is trickier than in sounds when living in an apartment where the babies sleep in the living room and you continue to eat and watch TV in said living room in the evening.

“James, what are you looking at?” - We used to say this ever since James's first week when he kept looking at the framed prints over the sofa. James was pretty fixated on the prints as well as a painting of a flower on a grey, black and white canvas.

James ignoring Mommy's hideous fashion choices to look at his favorite print. (1 month)

James always wants to look at that artwork so why not give him what he wants? (1 month)

Burp Like a Longshoreman - A loud baby belch.

James’s Man Cave - For about a month James liked to crawl and rotate under the crib and just poke his head and arms out.

James is happy in his Man Cave. (8 1/2 months)

Rot Box - What Mark calls the crib. We think the babies feel like it’s the rot box because there’s nothing to do in there.

Julia wants back inside the rot box? (11 months)

James and Julia campaign for their favorite parent while in the rot box. (5 1/2 months)

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Twin Glossary Part I

Multi-Tasking - When the babies’ hands are full or they're busy crawling, they’ll use their mouths as a third hand.

Julia's a bath multi-tasker. (13 months)

James would reach up and occasionally spin the do-hickeys while holding the toy with his mouth. (9 months)

Poop/Diaper Ninja - Mark called himself this after changing James’s diaper in the crib in the middle of the night without waking up James.

The Candice - Name for prefold diapers we use on changing table, so called because we can never remember the real name and our friend Candice gave them to us.

Rabid Julia on The Candice. (6 months)

Mt. Kila-mom-jaro (previously Mount St. Mommy) - What I called myself when the babies (usually James), around 4 months, tried to climb up me to my neck.

Swimming - Before he could actually crawl, James used to crawl in place with his legs moving fast but not actually going forward. And then he'd push up and be all proud of himself.

Kick kick kick kick kick real fast... and push up! (6 months)

Stiff Starfish - Julia would make all her body and limbs rigid (so she'd resemble a starfish) when upset. She would arch her back and do this all of a sudden when we were feeding her a bottle (to slip out of our grasp and get away from it) or while sitting in a Boppy to slide lower.

The Zoo - The playpen. The original zoo consisted of 8 panels and was a square configuration. The later zoo was larger and, appropriate for twins, rounded as though for an indoor cage match. The Zoo wasn't perfectly round and had a little outcrop that we called The Viewing Platform, as though in an actual zoo. Because of the shape, Mark called this configuration (for which I unfortunately have no picture) The Thought Bubble.

The first days of the zoo. (8 months)

Sometimes Zoos are the only ways Daddies can get away from it all... (10 1/2 months - age of babies, not Daddy)

James and Grandma wear matching outfits in the new, improved, larger and rounder Zoo. (15 months)

Julia downward dogs over the Music Table. (12 1/2 months)

Great Barrier Reef - What Mark named the playpen he reconfigured to defend the TV and fireplace. It's narrow and looks like a dog run.

The babies discover paper shopping bags with The Great Barrier Reef in the background. (16 1/2 months)

Jaws of Life - Needed to remove poopy clothing from a baby after a blow out.

Shanta Claus - Someone carrying a big sack of dirty diapers.

Ho Ho Holy crap these reek!

Running of the Babies - The babies' crawl/walk to dinner. This involves Julia moaning the whole way, James waiting for Julia when he gets too far ahead, James crawling towards Julia which causes her to shriek in delight and turn around and crawl the other way like they’re playing tag, stopping to hit the heater air vent, plus forays into the entry, kitchen and living room until Mommy and Daddy get tired and put them in high chairs. See the video.

Part I: James leads the way.
Part II: Looking back to see where Julia is. (13 months)

Part III: Julia pretends that James is going to chase her so she crawls back to the nursery.
Part IV: Eventually Julia makes her way back from the nursery to dinner.