Twin Glossary Part II

Falling Asleep at the Meal - Babies falling asleep at a feeding. (Here's a video of James falling asleep while drinking from a bottle.)


High chair siestas. (Julia - 14 months; James - 16 months)

Photos of babies asleep in places other than their cribs are always amusing-- mine are no match for the borderline narcoleptic babies seen below.




Stealth Poo - Not realizing it’s a poopy diaper until you open the diaper.

The Stockpile - The stacks and stacks of organized baby food jars.


These two shelves are NOWHERE near The Stockpile's glory days. Often there were 12 jars of each type of food on display (each row contained one type of food and sometimes they were piled three jars high) and extra boxes were stored on a higher shelf. (This picture was taken in the last months of The Stockpile when the babies were 15 months and we were phasing out jarred food.)

James Pendulum - Technique used for burping that Mark learned by watching burping videos on You Tube. Let me repeat that. Mark watched burping videos on You Tube. One technique involved sort of swinging the baby out like a pendulum. I created a song while I burped James where I would chant, “James pendulum” three times and then say “Bong!” The version for Julia was the same but higher pitched. I sometimes replaced “pendulum” with “Benjamin” or "Elizabeth" (their middle names) and the “Bong!” sound with “Pilloff.”

The Burp Whisperer - Mark called himself this because the babies supposedly burped more quickly when he burped them. We'd burp the babies two or three times during a bottle feeding, often taking as much as 10 minutes for a single burp. So a burp within two minutes was highly coveted.


While Mark burps Julia, she tells him a secret. It's probably about pooping. (1 month)


James smiles at The Burp Whisperer after his bottle. (4 months)

D1/D2 - Code used in the baby notebook for diaper changes. D1 = pee, D2 = poop. Really bad diapers sometimes got cited for a D4. Some of the more interesting notations include:

James
Peed on own face
Now I know why Grandma left this for me.
D2... on Doggy
D4 (Not at a guest's house, James!)
D4 - Like carrot colored glue
Y-shaped turd molded exactly to his butt
1-inch long poop

Julia
Squisher gigantus
2 people, 4 piddlepads, 1 new outfit & a bath
On Mommy and chair
D2 Noisy!
Super soaker
D2 Explosion. I don't think she can ever wear that again.
D2 The apoocalypse

Both
You get a D2! You get a D2! Everybody gets a D2!!!

Onesie Tent - Coined by high school friend Beth from the “pants tent” episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Zip-up body suits create a weird chest lump. My mom calls it their “Alien” because of the Ridley Scott movie.


James's onesie tent makes it look like his head has migrated. (2 months)


It's a James and Papa sing-a-long. (1 month)

“I know. Farting is scary.” - Often the babies would cry before or after farting, so I would tell them this.

Gay Octopus - This was coined by Mark for “Octoplush” who has a tiny fey (not to be confused with Tina Fey) sailor hat. Mark also has a whole Gay Octopus routine.


Gay Octopus photo-bomb. (7 months)

Night Mode - Turning lights down to simulate night. This is trickier than in sounds when living in an apartment where the babies sleep in the living room and you continue to eat and watch TV in said living room in the evening.

“James, what are you looking at?” - We used to say this ever since James's first week when he kept looking at the framed prints over the sofa. James was pretty fixated on the prints as well as a painting of a flower on a grey, black and white canvas.


James ignoring Mommy's hideous fashion choices to look at his favorite print. (1 month)

James always wants to look at that artwork so why not give him what he wants? (1 month)

Burp Like a Longshoreman - A loud baby belch.

James’s Man Cave - For about a month James liked to crawl and rotate under the crib and just poke his head and arms out.


James is happy in his Man Cave. (8 1/2 months)

Rot Box - What Mark calls the crib. We think the babies feel like it’s the rot box because there’s nothing to do in there.


Julia wants back inside the rot box? (11 months)


James and Julia campaign for their favorite parent while in the rot box. (5 1/2 months)