Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Halloween 2012 (or How I Spent 16 Hours on Costumes to Have them Look Like I Spent 5 Minutes)

(Go here for Halloween 2011 and Halloween 2010.)

Selecting a Halloween costume for my two-year-old twins can be summed up like this:
  • Step 1: Look online at every costume imaginable.
  • Step 2: Remember that Julia won’t wear anything but pants so work around that obstacle.
  • Step 3: Realize that they are two and therefore not willing to wear anything. Not even something they choose.

Part I: The Contenders as Decided by Mommy
(Mommy decides on costumes - as though that will work)

First, here are some awesome kid costume ideas I happened to find.

This one doesn’t look that impressive, but I have a soft spot for it. That’s because it’s actually what I planned to be for Halloween in 2009 until I got pregnant. To be Crazy Cat Lady you just need a robe, slippers, curlers, and a bunch of stuffed cats sewn onto you. A few kitties in your hands to throw a la the Crazy Cat Lady on The Simpsons is also a nice touch. (Once I became preggers I planned to be Octomom and pin six babies to me and wear a shirt that said there were two still inside, but unfortunately for the world I ended up on bed rest.)

You’re embarrassing yourself, kid.

Because I want James and Julia to wear cute matching costumes, I spend a ridiculous amount of time online trying to find the perfect twin costumes. I narrow it to these: 

Popeye and Olive Oyl were my top choices. I considered making flowing pants for Olive Oyl to work around Julia’s skirt aversion.

First runner-up: Fred and Wilma. Too similar to last year’s Pebbles and Bam Bam?


I thought maybe I should work with their strengths. And their strength is their willingness to wear hats.

Most melancholy Papa Smurf ever

Wonder Twins activate!

After all, James was already called out on looking like Super Mario...

As my friend Stacy said, “Good luck ever getting Julia into that costume.”

Same goes for Julia as Little Bo Peep.

Love the gnomes but if someone didn’t want to wear a hat or a beard it would be all over.

I end up deciding on aviatrix Amelia Earhart and her trusty (or not-so-trusty?) plane because of Julia’s anti-dress policy. (Unfortunately for Julia, “girl who will only wear jeans” is not a Halloween costume.) And despite choosing what I think is a cute costume, my dad scoffs at the idea of Julia being Amelia Earhart, like why couldn’t I choose a normal costume, and suggests cheerleader and football player instead. First of all, no. Second of all, good luck convincing Julia.

Mommy’s pick: Aviatrix and plane

I decide that I will point out planes in the sky, talk about how cool planes are, and generally psych them up about planes. And then after a week I’ll ask excitedly if they want to be a plane and a pilot for Halloween and they’ll be like, “YESSSSS!” Except a week passes and I think I’ve psyched them up enough so I ask and they’re like, “Nooooooo!”

Instead they tell me, “We want to be pumpkins.” Both of them. I’m secretly dying inside because I want them to wear some creative costumes, but I know the holiday is for them. They should be happy. But still, way to kill your mother, kids.

Next time: Part II: The Contenders as Decided by Julia and James

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